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“Why isn’t your wife here?”
It doesn’t look much of a question, but it changed my life. I was a happily married woman, looking after my family, and, when I could, speaking at women’s groups. My husband was working more and more in Africa as a missionary, and I was delighted to support him in this, but I had no intention of going to Africa. Then, after one trip to Ghana, he suggested that we go out for dinner. Over the candle light, he said to me “I told the African leaders that you were a teacher and they asked, “So why isn’t your wife here?” My husband took me by the hand and said, “What answer shall I give them?” I immediately wanted to say “no”, but to my surprise, I replied “Well, if they want me, I suppose I had better go.”
On my way!
So I began to work with the women of Africa. I taught them about the Christian faith, and how they could have a vital part to play in God’s work. I was excited by their enthusiasm, but deeply sad at their lack of education, their lack of teaching materials, and their lack of opportunity. Here was a vast recourse for good, being mostly ignored or seldom used. Here was an ocean of commitment, unable to find a way out. The more I taught, the deeper became my compassion. Women began to tell me their stories. I learnt of violence within the marriage relationship, and I saw them struggling to feed their children, and to maintain their homes. I saw the cultural damage which so many had to live with, and I wondered what I could do.
I knew I could no change the culture. This was Africa, and I was a guest. I had to respect their customs. But with the encouragement of many of the male Pastors, I began to try and give women dignity within their relationship with Jesus. I said over and over again, “You are special, you have value, you are called to serve. You have the right to use what you have been given.”
Teach and teach and teach
But to do this, I needed to teach and teach and teach. I ran courses in many places. To my surprise, the men came as well. I wondered why, and my husband told me, “They want to check and see if they are happy with what you are teaching the women!” Apparently they were, because I was given more and more opportunity.
Then came the visions of Lydia house and Ruth house. We were able to buy land near Accra, in Ghana, for our main mission base. The mission team said to me, “First we will build Lydia house. This will be for you to train and release women, We will put a pharmacy into it, so that as well as teaching, we can offer basic health facilities.” The African women were so excited! But who was to pay for it?
English women are with you
Slowly, a vision emerged. I began to see that the women of the U.K. should provide this facility, as a gift to the women of Africa. This was a way of saying “We are with you. We love you. We support you.” In the decades to come, African women will be trained and equipped in a building filled with an atmosphere of love and concern from England.
Lydia House may seem such a small thing, but for me it is the beginning of a vision which I have had for some time – a statement to African women that they do matter. I express this in Christian terms, and Lydia House will be a Christian centre, but I am not rejecting or neglecting those women who are not Christians. From my Christian centre, I am saying to all African women “Look, you do have value and worth.”
But then I realised that Lydia House was only the first step. I spoke at one conference, and afterwards, I met a lovely woman, who had come with her daughter. As I spoke to them, I realised that something was worrying them, but I did not know what it was. The next day they were back, and the daughter had a broken jaw. He father had beaten her that night, and this was what was worrying them the day before.
Lydia and Ruth?
Violence against women within the home and marriage is too common. But what could I do about it? Then one of the team said, “We must buy Ruth House. We will make it a hostel for women who have been beaten. They can come for some weeks, and get out of the circle of violence.” Again, I knew he was right, and so beyond Lydia House, I see the need for Ruth House. Ruth house will be for any woman who has been attacked in her home - a temporary escape from the pain and hurt.
At present, I am just beginning to speak about Lydia House. How I get it built I don’t know, but I do know that, somehow, it must be done.
This site was last updated 03/18/05